They say that deep inside we all are one and the same, and that everything in our perceived reality is nothing but a play of light and mirrors. Perhaps the most profound expression on this would be the one from Sri Ramana Maharshi, the silent sage. When he was asked how we should treat others, in a rare moment the sage broke his silence and said, “there are no others.” Why then do we obsess so much about our own individual personalities and supposed “uniqueness”? Especially when we are all flawed in some or the other way?

Since time immemorial, Dussera has been celebrated as the triumph of good over evil. Only in recent decades, it has picked up a more relatable meaning for us- that of slaying our inner demons. Inspiring as that message is, it can also feel somewhat daunting. After all, our demons come in different shapes, sizes, and strengths, and slaying them may not be in our immediate capacity. Or so we’d like to believe. Does that mean we give up? Should we brush our flaws under the carpet and pretend to be someone we are not, because change is too hard? Should we give up trying to become a better version of ourselves? Surely there must be another way?

There is.

As a martial arts student, I have come to realize through repeated observation of my master that there is no greater skill than to simply be present and respond to what comes your way. “Loi Lau Hui Sung, Lut Sau Jik Chung” is a fundamental tenet of Wing Chun Kung Fu. It translates to “Receive what comes, escort what goes, when the hands are free attack without hesitation”. I find this tenet to be of great value when it comes to dealing with our internal demons and life in general. Far too often we take a combative approach towards our demons, which not only antagonizes them more but it also erodes our capacity to see something for what it truly is. Instead, a more open and responsive approach would be far more effective. Something beautiful a friend of mine always says is “connection before correction”. Yet we never sit back and reflect upon whether or not we’ve made any true connection with our demons. How then can we correct them?

Could there be a tool that helps us form this connection?

Yep, there is. And I have practically been married to it since the age of 16 – the tool is handwriting! Not only has this tool proved to be the best medium to connect with my demons, it has also helped me correct them. Our handwriting is quite literally a mirror. It holds up the picture of who we really are and with no filters. Sure, initially it felt scary to look at my demons in the mirror. But something magical began happening when I was locked in with my demons. As time passed, I began seeing past the outer veil of their hostilities and where they were really coming from. Why were they hurting, and what was it that really needed healing. Guards came down, we shifted our weights, and we eased into a relaxed interaction with each other. The connection had begun – me and my demons had become friends. Every day as the pen touched the paper, me and my demons entered a room, locked the door behind us and began a conversation, with the mirror as our witness. There was no running away then. It was all about swearing to tell each other the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Taming our demons is a process. One that requires patience, and even some sustained isolation.

Yet every year on Dussera, we immerse ourselves in indulgent celebrations and socializing, look to the eternal archetypes for triumph of good over evil, and continue to dodge our demons. How often have we checked in on the promise we made to ourselves (if at all) on Dussera the previous year about “slaying our demons”? Did we brush them under the carpet yet again? One thing is for sure – each time we brush something under the carpet, we’re making a deal with our demons to be held hostage by them in our future.

So this Dussera, I invite you to get uncomfortable and celebrate the festival with your demons. Befriend them, so you can tame them and not slay them. Because tamed demons are a truer testament to our whole selves, and the whole truth of who we really are. And who we really are, is all light and mirrors anyway.

Happy Dussera !